The One Skill That Will Make You a Better Negotiator in 2025
Here's a good question to kick off the new year: what's the single most important skill to improve your negotiation game?
You might think it's mastering new tactics, developing killer strategies, or becoming a master planner. While those are all valuable, the number one skill to hone in 2025 is active listening.
Why? It's a double-edged sword. First, it dramatically improves your understanding. You gain crystal-clear insight into the other party's perspective – what they want and, more importantly, why they want it.
Most people are surprised to learn that the "why" is far more crucial than the "what." Understanding the other party’s motivation unlocks creativity. We've all been there: you ask the other side what they want, they tell you, and that's that. But if you delve deeper and uncover their underlying reasons, you often discover that their initial request isn't the best solution. You won't uncover those hidden gems unless you explore the "why."
And there's more! Active listening isn't just about better business outcomes; it strengthens relationships. It fosters openness and builds trust, both personally and professionally.
So, how do you become an active listener?
Start with intention. Commit to being fully present, not just by paying attention to the words the other person is saying but also by taking in their entire presence – their facial expressions, posture, and gestures.
Be mindful of your own signals. When I coach individuals or teams, we often videotape them to see how they come across. It's eye-opening! People often say things like, "Do I really do that?" or "I had no idea I smiled so little." Videotaping yourself is the easiest way to get honest feedback on how you're perceived. And it's easier than ever – a simple tripod and your phone can do the trick.
Remember the old adage: "Wherever you are, be there."
Lock in. Maintain genuine eye contact (but don’t overdo it - not a laser-beam stare!). I once coached a client whose intense gaze made others uncomfortable.
Minimize distractions. Shut your computer down, put your phone away and truly tune in. Don't let your mind wander back to office conversations or that email you just received. And resist the urge to plan your next response while they're still talking. This is tough!
Show you're listening. It's not enough to simply hear them. They need to know you're truly engaged.
Ask clarifying questions. Dig deeper with questions that can't be answered with a simple "yes" or "no."
Summarize and reflect. Restate their key points in your own words. This not only confirms your understanding but also helps you identify any areas of confusion.
Ultimately, active listening isn't just a negotiation skill; it's a cornerstone of effective communication in every aspect of life – with clients, colleagues, friends, and even strangers.